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| Politically incorrect and okay with it. |
| 11.28.06 (10:50 pm) [edit] |
It's too bad that there are some mothers who are unable to respect the wishes of their adult children. And I thought *my* mom had control issues.. Whew. If mine followed me around the way Devon's does, I think I'd have to punch her. Yeah. That's all I have to say.
|
posted by: commontater (reply)
post date: 11.28.06 (11:40 pm)
Now, now, we all think we have mothers with *control* issues ;> That you've made a point of this shows me Devon's mother has done the equivalent of poking a stick in your eye, am I right, Lindy? How many more days do you have to suffer though before they head out on the nine-o-clock stagecoach, Lady Lindy? Here's a tip from my Parent Repellant Kit: Strap on yer thigh holster, tie snug, and plunk yer Ruger Super Redhawk in it and strutt around the kitchen mimicking the mannerisms of an agitated, pent-up, incorrigible Rooster, making sure you do the quick head-in, head-out elongated neck, I'm the cock-of-the-walk routine when any of the parents are expected to be there. Better yet, let Devon do it. If they don't leave in 15-30 mins., then I'm afraid you will probably need to apply the super-duper-rooster-pooper (i know, i know, this part can get messy ;> ) repellant that requires *both* of you to be in struttin'-clucking-armed-Rooster mode, but let Devon continue wearing the red cockscomb, and *you* use the war-paint. Now Lindy, this *ought* to repel them. HOWEVER, if the parents have been repelled in this manner *previously* and have grown some immunity to this repellant, I regret to tell you that you will have to bring your little chicks into play as well, but they *must* be in FULL, struttin'-clucking-armed-chick mode in FULL REGALIA. Let me REPEAT - in FULL REGALIA - that means the egg-bonnets must be *on* their heads - complete, with nest and 3 + or - fresh *brown* eggs! They must also mimic your movements to a T. Now THAT ought to do it! Money-back guarantee. Good luck ;>
PuC
posted by: mimi (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (3:27 am)
aww, geeze, and I thought I had problems! or, let me just give PuC a BIG amen! I think he's on to sumpin' there...
xoxoxo
posted by: radiohead (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (9:36 am)
Oh God, PLEASE don't let me be that mother...That is sad...I wonder why people do that?
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (12:14 pm)
Both of y'all (and Sir Pidsalot) have my tip o' the hat. ;)
Keep the faith.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (2:32 pm)
Reply to: ladyg
Very true. It's sad because they can't see what they are doing, no matter what you say or do to open their eyes.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (2:37 pm)
Reply to: commontater
Boy, do *you* get the wackiest and funniest comment of the day award! I read this aloud to Devon and we were both snorting. Funny thing is.. it's *my* parents who came for a visit recently and we lived to tell the tale. Devon's mother is basically stalking him these days and doesn't seem to 'get it.' I think I'll hang on to the rooster routine for when my parents come back.. they won't know what hit them, haha. Classic.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (2:40 pm)
Reply to: radiohead
You know.. I'm pretty sure it's out of some warped sense of love that we insist on forcing ourselves onto our kids as adults. But frankly, it's inappropriate and extremely disrespectful, especially when their own life is clearly a mess.. it would be nice if she could clean things up first and give Devon some time to heal. -sigh- I hope you have the insight to never be this kind of mother either.. your children deserve better than that, as you well know. :)
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (2:41 pm)
Reply to: cutter
Thank you, Sir. I knew you'd understand.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (3:34 pm)
Piddle called me and filled me in.
posted by: akelso (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (3:53 pm)
When I was 19 or 20 years old, Lindy, I had one of those truly wild dreams (vivid, action-packed, never ending ...)
I dreamt that some woman pursued me, stalked me, appeared *in my face* everywhere I went. I ran and ran from her. Finally she and I found ourselves together in some basement-dungeon-like setting and there was a window high up next to the ceiling.
I literally punched that woman in the face with all the force I had in my arm. Then I scrambled out of the window with a whole lot of effort - then I woke up. My fist in Her face is a memory more real than life. (Dreamlife is an amazing thing.)
Both of my parents (now dead) formed in me the belief I didn't need to pass along their styles of parenting - Interesting people, and both lunatics.
Poor Devon!
- Andrea
posted by: akelso (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (3:59 pm)
I forgot to mention, the dream-stalking woman was masquerading as my mother, it seemed I was the only one beleiving she was an imposter - so not only was I running as if for my life, I was also obliging explain it to anyone who might wonder. Small detail. - ak
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (6:10 pm)
Reply to: cutter
Hahaha, nice! Piddle in the middle.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (6:15 pm)
Reply to: akelso
Now, that's quite the dream. I read this to Devon and he said, 'Man, I bet Freud would have a field day with that one.' I'd have to agree with him there! It's certainly tempting to speculate the masquerading reference. Isn't it strange that some of the most unique, free-spirited, free-willed, outspoken and often quite articulate and balanced people come from the most dysfunctional families.. it's like the parents become a text book case of what NOT to be.. well, perhaps it's not so strange after all, but rather makes perfect sense.
I felt a small pang of guilt after posting thoughts of me striking Devon's mother, but you know.. we do things for the people we love with enough provocation. Fingers crossed that such thoughts stay thoughts. :)
posted by: akelso (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (6:21 pm)
"bet Freud would have a field day" - assure Devon Freud would hardly have had the sophistication to deal with me in a way that could help me heal! Personally, I find the work of his protege, Carl Jung much more helpful. (Never mind, so many of my contemporaries have horrified me with their beliefs that Jung was a Nazi sypmathist. My god, this world is complicated beyond tolerability!)
- Andrea
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 11.29.06 (6:27 pm)
Reply to: akelso
Hahaha, I am so not surprised to hear you say boo to Freud, yay to Jung. (as Devon sits over my shoulder and yells, 'Freud was a coke head and a sexist pig too!') We don't have any qualms with tossing our opinions out into the ring, right or wrong, popular or not, heh.. I've not heard that Jung was considered by some to be a Nazi sympathist. Hmm.. yet another little something for me to dig my nose into.. thank you for that, madam!
*heads off to google* :)
posted by: 69whisper (reply)
post date: 12.03.06 (5:34 am)
As a father i am still learning to let go , but its hard :(
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 12.03.06 (5:42 am)
Reply to: 69whisper
I hear you.. as a mom, I can see it too.. but there's a point where you have to recognize your own issues and deal with them before you drive your kids nuts! We're not talking about a mom who calls often just to hear her son's voice.. we're talking about a married woman who cheated on her husband, is living with another married man (keep in mind they are not Muslim and that this sort of thing goes expressly against their religion).. and she insists that her son accept her situation into his life. Now, she's hunting for him onthe internet and has probably found this site, as well as his.. yes, she's *that* obsessive. You see, 69Whisper.. it's a bit much.. I can't imagine this kind of behavior from you.. :)
posted by: 69whisper (reply)
post date: 12.03.06 (9:37 am)
well my eldest daughter is 10 now and has different kind of issues. So far the nature of issues has not gone in that kinda nasty direction which i fear in near future. But lately her behavior in the school has stunned me. I happen to meet her teacher the other day and she surprised me by saying "she is the most misbehaved child in the class." she is not attentive, she produces different sounds in the class, she is over-confident and so much more. I dont know what to do. I am yet to talk with her about her behavior and the recent results. Just making up my mind what to say and how to give her the direction ?
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 12.03.06 (12:55 pm)
Reply to: 69whisper
My daughters are 11 and 12, so I think we may be in similar areas in terms of issues and development. Of course, we have differing cultural backgrounds to keep in mind, but by and large, kids are kids.. it's tough when you discover that your child is misbehaving in class. I dealt with this issue when my youngest was five. It was a tough time, but thankfully, it was a maturity issue, one that related to her communication, or better to the point, her inability to communicate whiel she was still trying to get a handle on things. I'm of the opinion that the way children behave at school isn't too far off the way they behave at home, generally speaking. If there's respect for the parents, there is usually respect for other adults. You definitely need to dive in and talk to your daughter to figure out what's going on. I'm sure you already know this, but.. it's hard to press on when you just everything to work itself out. There may be something at school influences her as well. I hope time spent with your daughter will give you the clues you need to understand what's happening with her. One thing is for sure.. home and family are the foundation that shape who she is when she goes out into the world. There's got to be something that jumps out at you when you look really closely at her lifestyle. Or at least, I hope so anyway.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 12.04.06 (7:17 am)
But lindy, you took her baby!
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 12.04.06 (9:13 am)
Reply to: surrogate
Oh, Surr! If only it were that! This was going on long before I came into the picture! If it were a simple case of empty nest syndrome, I could certainly understand that. It's not about staying involved in her son's life.. it's about getting her son to accept her choices, regardless of how inappropriate they are.. forcing her agenda, etc. Completely selfish stuff - the usual control freak issues, along with a wapping dollop of immaturity.. do we really expect an adult son to accept the married lover of his still married mother? Keep in mind that this married mother is also still a member of her Bahai faith. If you know anything about that particular religion, you'll know that what she's doing goes expressly against her beliefs. Either adhere to them or disassociate yourself.. be honest already! *mutter mutter mutter*
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 12.04.06 (9:48 am)
Sounds like Mom just wants some validation for her bad decisions. While I can certainly understand yours and Dev's frustrations I've never been an advocate of just cutting off all communication. I don't know his Mom but if she can't accept his disapproval and still remain a part of his life then it is SHE that is making the decision for no communication. I say set boundries, and stick to them--hopefully she'll get the message and understand her choices are hers--not her sons or anyone else's.
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 12.04.06 (10:17 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Aaaaahhhhh, the voice of reason. Umm, yo, ShanGran.. would you mind passing that along to Devon's mom? Pretty please with sugar on top? ;) Just joshing. Though it would be nice to get her to listen to you.. I think you hit the nail on the head, Shannon. She is absolutely looking for validation for her bad decisions. It's easy to find immediate family members willing to turn a blind eye to how she is conducting herself, but it's sad really. Oh well. Thank you for the insight.. I'll be sure to share it with Devon and see what he thinks. Hope you're doing alright. :)
