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| Unexpected update. |
| 01.12.06 (10:05 am) [edit] |
An unexpected update..Well, well, well.. what do you know.. turns out that tblog was more broken than I realized.. Some of the more obvious changes are that my collection of private tmails are gone.. wiped out.. just like that. And I found out that Rocky's downward spiral was such that he hasn't bothered to collect pro stat payments on any of his accounts. Once a pro user, always a pro user, I guess. And then there's this Nickster fella, whom I suspect is Rocky himself.. I wouldn't show my face again after having disappeared like that. It makes sense that he'd come back as someone else. I wandered over to my pro stats for the first time in ages and was surprised to see how many registered tbloggers were checking in.. I thought it was due to the holidays at first (people get nostalgic). I went back a ways and realized that most of these people were previously listed as outside users. Either Rocky (Nick) has started listing users through their IP addresses or something got fixed recently. Perhaps this is all part of the 'whole new tblog in 2006' campaign. Interesting. Pro stat benefits are subject to the amount of effort the administrator is willing to put forth at any given time. Imagine trying to run a business that way. Perhaps that is why tblog continues to remain on the fringe of the blogosphere. With a concept like this, it could be leading the way, but it isn't and it won't while management continues to think small. Well, perhaps that's the way he wants it. Perhaps it pays his bills and he's content with that. Maybe it saves him big bucks on pay-per-view. (thank you, tblog ladies of ill-repute) I enjoyed seeing the names in my pro stats.. they took me back over the last couple of years. People I used to talk to.. people who used to waft through these halls, looking for something of interest, whether for helpful or hurtful, or selfish intentions.. it seems so long ago. I still poke around here through some of the more or less anonymous blogs I've opened in the past. Usually, it's just to quietly see what people are up to.. only a few do I bother to read regularly and I comment even less. I think I'm beyond the game.. past the ego feeding and the drive for attention, acceptance, and on some subtle level.. love. I'm pretty sure that's why most of us are here. We are social creatures. Otherwise, we'd be scribbling away (or even typing) in private. And, yes, that includes people who write 'strictly for feedback..' (think bigger picture) I'm also past the idea of forcing change where I can't.. I've clued into the idea that change comes through example and usually in baby steps. It was quite a ride when I woke up to what was going on here. The indecent exposure of women, the desperation, the fantasy, lies and 'recreated actualization.' The emotion I poured into my response to all that still amazes me. But that's what it's like being me.. I'm pretty sure that the few who are sincerely interested have followed me out of here.. for old times sake, I'm leaving some writing on this wall, for your entertainment. I'm well, thank you. I hope all who stop by are too. The job at the University is going nicely, Austin is a fabulous city to call home, the girls are thriving here, and I've come into a healthy relationship with someone who is intellectually stimulating and as intense and energetic as I am. I've had a bit of irritation with my sister who lives close, but that's to be expected, given our tumultuous relationship throughout our childhood. I keep realizing that life will never be in that happy, stagnant place that many of us dream is just around the corner.. so I continue to concentrate on now, after all, it really is all we have. Sincerely, Lindy  Devon and Lindy, January 2006
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